Impasse

I am at an impasse. I stand at a point where stubbornness over thrones logic. What I cannot fathom is that I have no desire to let logic rule once more. What troubles me is the realization of the truth and my lack of desire to correct what should be rectified.

I am at an impasse. I am unable to move. No, I am UNWILLING to make the effort to move. I stand by this overwhelming desire to be the stubborn fiend that I am. I cannot shake it; I cannot amend this character flaw in me. I am unwilling to be of any good use to you when I am consumed with being this tenacious.

I am at an impasse. I lack the courage to be the voice of reason. I lack the desire to help when you need me to be unbiased and logical. I have been that rock of reason and logic for many years; I yearn for it no more.

Therefore, I am at an impasse. I will be selfish. I will be no help to anyone. At this very moment, I will continue to be stubborn. I will feed my greedy soul what it wants; I will keep that narcissistic part of my soul fed well, full belly and all.  Let it gnaw at the flesh of reason until it becomes nothing but ignorance and confusion.  

Let me continue to stand where I am. Let me rot here until I find my way back. Let me be trapped at this point until I can see clearly and see the path to logic once more. But until that moment comes, I will stay at this impasse.