You'll be Alright

I am unable to formulate the words I need to say.

Saying the words aloud would mean that they are true.

And at this very moment I do not want the truth.

I want the delusional denial that makes it hurt less.

I want the ignorance; the lies in my head that help me sleep at night.

How do I say goodbye?

How does one say goodbye to the friend that became family?

The fear of not having them around; of going through a life when they’re not constantly there is a fearful life to live.

And yet, circumstances have made this fear a reality.

A reality I am not prepared to bear; to live; or even comprehend.

And yet, I am at standstill.

To wish them good luck and to tell them it’ll all be alright.

Words I speak to comfort them and hope to God it can comfort me.

I can’t be selfish; for them I must stay strong.

But what can I do when all I want to do is breakdown and tell them to stay.

I try not to be selfish; truth be told I am selfish.

I want to shield my vulnerability, but that would mean to not be there.

I want to run away and not face the truth; and yet I must be the rock.

So to them I say I hope all your dreams come true.

To them I pray that life brings you all the joy you deserve.

To them I wish that they never feel the pain they’re feeling right now.
It’ll be okay and you’ll be alright.